One might think
at four in the morning on a dark plane,
stars lighting up the head shaped window
with the gentle sparkle of surrealism,
that I would sink into my heavy, traveling body.
But the blanket of strange bliss
on the colder side of the glass
calls my name until sleep is no option.
One might think
at six in the morning on a dimly lit plane,
coffee-scented voices softly waking up
to the intimate space shared by 250 beating chests,
that I would munch on the delightful foreign breakfast
waiting patiently on my tray.
But the explosion on the horizon,
the messy painting of a well needed rest to come
breaks the heavy thoughts and precious dreams
sending them off into the never ending trampoline of clouds.
Sunday, December 3, 2017
Sunday, November 12, 2017
Fairy-tale Re-do
Once upon a time
there was a girl with big dreams
as bright as the shimmering stars;
But they told her she couldn't,
and they told her she wouldn't,
so the dreams drifted ever so far.
Until came the day
when the girl met another
whose dreams were all he could see;
he showed her the world,
and for her life uncurled,
Paris called out, she said "Oui".
So now here she stands
in a life that's all changed
with eyes and a heart that's brand new;
She's opened her mind,
to whatever she finds,
And to dreams she shall always be true.
there was a girl with big dreams
as bright as the shimmering stars;
But they told her she couldn't,
and they told her she wouldn't,
so the dreams drifted ever so far.
Until came the day
when the girl met another
whose dreams were all he could see;
he showed her the world,
and for her life uncurled,
Paris called out, she said "Oui".
So now here she stands
in a life that's all changed
with eyes and a heart that's brand new;
She's opened her mind,
to whatever she finds,
And to dreams she shall always be true.
Saturday, October 28, 2017
A Prayer for the Future
May an essence of rose descend upon humanity;
its delicate, warm embrace
filling the wounds of the world
with a pink, angelic hue.
May the soft fabric of our compassion
wipe away the tears of those
whose souls have been nearly destroyed,
stealing away the pain of life that’s been lost.
May the flicker of hope that we desperately
contain
deep within our cracked hearts
be enough—
enough to change our shattered planet,
to glue the rigid pieces back together,
to turn on the dusty lights we have forgotten.
May we shine infinitely,
throughout the darkest
of storms
as we do our very best to remember this:
love is the answer.
It always has been.
Wednesday, October 4, 2017
A Slender Stream of Consciousness
There is a place within us all. A place within our hollow vessels. This place holds many things, like a magic bag with no bottom. Here lies memories, a place they can rest. Here lies our emotions, a place they can dwell. Here lies our pain, a place it can fester. But here, in this place within our warm bodies, lies a true testament to time. For as long as we wish, it can be a hole filled with rot. As long as we decide to continue holding what is in this bottomless pit, time will move forward. A million years could pass and nothing in this place will change. Unless you want it to.
The moment we decide this place has a heart beat, it can transform from an inner grave into a vault of life and love. Here lies memories, a place they can play out in peace. Here lies past relationships, a place they can matter. Here lies our joy, a place it can grow. Fill your void with the sweetness of all you have experienced, all that exists. Not the death of life and all of the suffering it holds.
Yes, there is a place within us all. A place within this hollow vessel that carries all that we are. This place has no limit as to what it can hold. Like a magic bag with no bottom, lives of experience exist in it, along with the infinity to come. But out of all the death in the world, out of all of the hate and the division, let this be the place to hold the most beautiful parts of you and your life. Fill it to the brim, and forever onward with the shiniest, most tingling parts of your life. Let this be the place from which you create your brightest love, never running out, never spoiling.
All you have to do is say so. All you have to do is make it so. Do you wish to store your pain, sadness, loss, discomfort, etc. in this never ending space within your fragile self? Or do you wish to hold the golden moments? The love, the laughter, the adventure, the epiphanies, the strength, the feeling of overcoming a challenge so deep you are truly amazed at how far you've come? Let go of your wounds. Quit licking them. Kiss them goodbye, and let them kiss your ass because this life is too beautiful to ignore. This experience is too pure to dilute.
Let life punch you in the gut every once in a while, but hold onto the realization that you can move forward, not the feeling of the fist in your flesh. There is a massive planet filled with hurt that we cannot rewind, that we cannot rid ourselves of. But even in the hurt is a gift so priceless only those with a place within them, a place filled with the best of the worst, can see. Life is precious and so are you. Choose to see that. Choose to feel it. But most importantly, choose to be connected to the best of yourself rather than the worst of the world. I promise you this: Shine your light bright, even when you can't. Shine your light so bright and everyone will turn. Everyone will see themselves in this light and the more lights we can turn on, the more we can see. The beauty in the pain, the treasure in the challenge, the courage in the fear. But most importantly, the love in the hate.
Because you are all worth it.
We are ALL worth it.
The moment we decide this place has a heart beat, it can transform from an inner grave into a vault of life and love. Here lies memories, a place they can play out in peace. Here lies past relationships, a place they can matter. Here lies our joy, a place it can grow. Fill your void with the sweetness of all you have experienced, all that exists. Not the death of life and all of the suffering it holds.
Yes, there is a place within us all. A place within this hollow vessel that carries all that we are. This place has no limit as to what it can hold. Like a magic bag with no bottom, lives of experience exist in it, along with the infinity to come. But out of all the death in the world, out of all of the hate and the division, let this be the place to hold the most beautiful parts of you and your life. Fill it to the brim, and forever onward with the shiniest, most tingling parts of your life. Let this be the place from which you create your brightest love, never running out, never spoiling.
All you have to do is say so. All you have to do is make it so. Do you wish to store your pain, sadness, loss, discomfort, etc. in this never ending space within your fragile self? Or do you wish to hold the golden moments? The love, the laughter, the adventure, the epiphanies, the strength, the feeling of overcoming a challenge so deep you are truly amazed at how far you've come? Let go of your wounds. Quit licking them. Kiss them goodbye, and let them kiss your ass because this life is too beautiful to ignore. This experience is too pure to dilute.
Let life punch you in the gut every once in a while, but hold onto the realization that you can move forward, not the feeling of the fist in your flesh. There is a massive planet filled with hurt that we cannot rewind, that we cannot rid ourselves of. But even in the hurt is a gift so priceless only those with a place within them, a place filled with the best of the worst, can see. Life is precious and so are you. Choose to see that. Choose to feel it. But most importantly, choose to be connected to the best of yourself rather than the worst of the world. I promise you this: Shine your light bright, even when you can't. Shine your light so bright and everyone will turn. Everyone will see themselves in this light and the more lights we can turn on, the more we can see. The beauty in the pain, the treasure in the challenge, the courage in the fear. But most importantly, the love in the hate.
Because you are all worth it.
We are ALL worth it.
Thursday, August 17, 2017
What is Dead May Never Die
Death. A word I use to struggle to mention. A lump in the throat, a stale look in my eye, slightly choking on the breath that's cascading down my trachea. It's a complex word, to say the least. But it isn't the linguistics that trip me up, it's the emotions hidden behind each letter, each syllable and sound. It's the memories and the fears, the stabbing pain and the instant relief. The confusion and the chaos. I had so many preconceived ideas, influenced by my beliefs and the experiences of those around me. But my ideas just added to the complexity of the word, reflecting my inexperience and inability to relate entirely. Until the time came that I learned for myself.
Death is a word that cannot be defined. It cannot be understood or written out, explained or painted for anyone to receive. It is defined as the end of the life of a person or organism, but it goes way beyond that simple idea. The most difficult aspect of the idea of death is that it is non-transferable. Once you understand death within yourself, define it, draw it, write it out, that is as far as it goes. It stays planted in your brain, growing in your mind with each and every experience you have. There is no way to show someone your understanding of death. You can attempt to explain it, using words and images that may help them relate to what you are saying, but the truth is no one will ever understand death until they work through tremendous loss themselves.
Since learning my own meaning and definition of death, I have been able to observe others. I have noted their emotions, their thoughts, their reactions. We are all so very different, in how we perceive and more specifically, how we grieve. I will not try to explain to you my idea of death for it may not be understood the way my mind defines it. However I will present you with this idea:
When faced with death in general, it is almost impossible for us to decipher between our empathy for the loss of a life and our own fear of death. Sometimes we mistake our own fear of death for the fear of someone else losing their life. There is grief, there is the emptiness of physical loss and the end of our life with someone else in it, but there is a much grander emotion at work when we face death. Our fear. We fear so much at the end of the line. We may or may not understand what follows, we may or may not wish to think about what comes next. So we just hold a space of fear. Of the unknown, of change, of the release into something new. With all of this fully intact in our hearts and minds, we choose to focus on the physical loss. The empty place in our hearts. The terror we choose to play back in our heads day after day. The fear of what is no more.
We choose to sit in our grief, to soak up our loss and tell ourselves it will never be the same. Well it won't, that we have gotten right. But it's not about right or wrong, it's about our perspective. Life isn't the same, but it can be bigger. It can be more whole. The physical loss in our lives can teach us about life. It can teach us how tough the sting can get, or how soft the touch can feel. It can teach us how sweet the rose can smell, or how much the heart can truly bleed when pricked by a thorn. Death can keep us in a box, bringing us anxiety, fear, and deep depression. Or it can smash open the box and bring you everything you have missed while you've been sleeping.
I am not writing this to tell you what happens after death. I may have my own firm understanding and experience to back that up, but that is ultimately up to your mind to decipher. That is for you to build, and your soul to agree upon. But I can tell you this, death is never just about the loss and if you can find the strength that resides in your core, the life that seeps from your soul constantly, if you can find the will to move forward you will absolutely discover your full meaning of death. But also your meaning of life.
Life can change you, but death destroys you. It destroys you to a place where the soil that was your old self can recycle and grow into a new self. Death can teach you about more than just you and what you have lost. It can take up residence in your spirit and prove to be one of the most awakening experiences you will ever endure, if only you see that you CAN endure it. You CAN move through it, taking with you the materials and realizations you need to create a stronger, more open self.
It is now time to say goodbye to all that has died so that we may continue forward. It is time to reap the courage that has been sown into our celestial bodies, time and time again. Pick up your sword, pick up the swords of those who have finished their battle and gone home. It is time to grow from the ashes of all we have been through and all we have lost, all that has taught us and all that has gotten us to this point. The place that we need to be.
While I can't offer you my perspective on death, I can give you an example to see. I can give you the words from a heart that has endured soul crushing loss, and I can give you my word. Death is not the end, for anyone involved. Loss, my dears, is only but the beginning of the most extraordinary metamorphosis you will ever, EVER, encounter. You may shed your tears now, but you will shed yourself eventually and you will see the beauty, not the vain, of what has been lost. For what is lost is never truly lost, but only in your heart from this point forward. To guide you, to love you, to show you how far you have come and how far you will go. Everlasting, from the day it all ends to the day it all begins again.
Death is a word that cannot be defined. It cannot be understood or written out, explained or painted for anyone to receive. It is defined as the end of the life of a person or organism, but it goes way beyond that simple idea. The most difficult aspect of the idea of death is that it is non-transferable. Once you understand death within yourself, define it, draw it, write it out, that is as far as it goes. It stays planted in your brain, growing in your mind with each and every experience you have. There is no way to show someone your understanding of death. You can attempt to explain it, using words and images that may help them relate to what you are saying, but the truth is no one will ever understand death until they work through tremendous loss themselves.
Since learning my own meaning and definition of death, I have been able to observe others. I have noted their emotions, their thoughts, their reactions. We are all so very different, in how we perceive and more specifically, how we grieve. I will not try to explain to you my idea of death for it may not be understood the way my mind defines it. However I will present you with this idea:
When faced with death in general, it is almost impossible for us to decipher between our empathy for the loss of a life and our own fear of death. Sometimes we mistake our own fear of death for the fear of someone else losing their life. There is grief, there is the emptiness of physical loss and the end of our life with someone else in it, but there is a much grander emotion at work when we face death. Our fear. We fear so much at the end of the line. We may or may not understand what follows, we may or may not wish to think about what comes next. So we just hold a space of fear. Of the unknown, of change, of the release into something new. With all of this fully intact in our hearts and minds, we choose to focus on the physical loss. The empty place in our hearts. The terror we choose to play back in our heads day after day. The fear of what is no more.
We choose to sit in our grief, to soak up our loss and tell ourselves it will never be the same. Well it won't, that we have gotten right. But it's not about right or wrong, it's about our perspective. Life isn't the same, but it can be bigger. It can be more whole. The physical loss in our lives can teach us about life. It can teach us how tough the sting can get, or how soft the touch can feel. It can teach us how sweet the rose can smell, or how much the heart can truly bleed when pricked by a thorn. Death can keep us in a box, bringing us anxiety, fear, and deep depression. Or it can smash open the box and bring you everything you have missed while you've been sleeping.
I am not writing this to tell you what happens after death. I may have my own firm understanding and experience to back that up, but that is ultimately up to your mind to decipher. That is for you to build, and your soul to agree upon. But I can tell you this, death is never just about the loss and if you can find the strength that resides in your core, the life that seeps from your soul constantly, if you can find the will to move forward you will absolutely discover your full meaning of death. But also your meaning of life.
Life can change you, but death destroys you. It destroys you to a place where the soil that was your old self can recycle and grow into a new self. Death can teach you about more than just you and what you have lost. It can take up residence in your spirit and prove to be one of the most awakening experiences you will ever endure, if only you see that you CAN endure it. You CAN move through it, taking with you the materials and realizations you need to create a stronger, more open self.
It is now time to say goodbye to all that has died so that we may continue forward. It is time to reap the courage that has been sown into our celestial bodies, time and time again. Pick up your sword, pick up the swords of those who have finished their battle and gone home. It is time to grow from the ashes of all we have been through and all we have lost, all that has taught us and all that has gotten us to this point. The place that we need to be.
While I can't offer you my perspective on death, I can give you an example to see. I can give you the words from a heart that has endured soul crushing loss, and I can give you my word. Death is not the end, for anyone involved. Loss, my dears, is only but the beginning of the most extraordinary metamorphosis you will ever, EVER, encounter. You may shed your tears now, but you will shed yourself eventually and you will see the beauty, not the vain, of what has been lost. For what is lost is never truly lost, but only in your heart from this point forward. To guide you, to love you, to show you how far you have come and how far you will go. Everlasting, from the day it all ends to the day it all begins again.
Wednesday, August 9, 2017
The Three Things I Will Always Know
Life
is filled with movement. There are the ups, the downs, the old and the new.
People and things are constantly being replaced by new people and new things.
Experiences move forward, and eventually come to an end or create a new
beginning out of themselves.
Despite
this constant kinetic energy that life generates, we have the tendency to feel
stagnant at times. Like we can’t get our feet moving forward, no matter how
hard we try. We just can’t quite seem to grasp the lesson and move on. Or pick
up our feet and carry on. We get stuck on something, or rather in something.
Unable to move, unable to make enough sense of our surroundings or the direction we
are headed.
What
does it mean to us, where we're going, if we can’t even figure out where we are?
What does the journey have to do with our current situation when we're stuck somewhere, unsure of how to continue? If there's no movement, is there also no progress?
I can't answer those questions, but I can tell you this. The future holds a place
in our lives. Obviously not a conscious one, but a space in
which we are leaving life up to something bigger. We don’t have to have
everything figured out to move onward, we don’t have to possess the map and the
answers to what lies ahead. We don’t need to plot it, to plan it, to design it
out. We don’t need to know where we are headed to move forward. All we need is
the faith in the knowledge that we will get to where we need to be as long as
we are conscious of where we are now, not where we are headed.
If
you know where you stand, just where you are in this moment, you will survive.
If you know where you stand with yourself, with your life, with the goals and
aspirations you hold in your heart right this second, you will know how to get
there. No directions needed. So then what is in that space, the space that
the future holds? If it’s not answers or directions, what takes up that space?
It’s the hope we have for something great. It’s the knowing that we will get
there, not the knowing of when or how but the knowing that we will eventually know what everything means. It's a space we reserve for the time in which we do figure things out. A space for all options and all outcomes to take. A place to know there is an extraordinary future in front of us, no matter what the story turns out to be.
I
am sure of only three things in this life. In every life. The sun will come
out. The moon will come out. The truth will come out. You will always have a
sense of direction, innately installed in your spirit. The only thing you have
to acquire is the faith, the blind knowing, the FEELING that your truth will
come out. So long as you know of the three things that will always come out,
you will know how to always continue onward with your journey. Not a day passing
you by taking a thing from you and not a moment being wasted on the stagnant
debate of the ever chattering mind.
Have
faith in the sun, have faith in the moon. But most importantly have faith in your
own truth. No matter how hidden it may seem now, you will figure it out. You will find your way. And it will be magnificent. It will be beautiful. It will be your new present moment as the cycle completes and begins again. Everything you hoped and dreamed will gracefully turn into everything you know.
Happy Eclipse season <3
Tuesday, August 1, 2017
Run Away or Dance the Tango
Fear. It's a knot in your solar plexus, an uncomfortable tingle down your spine, a rush of adrenaline through your body. It can freeze you up or cause you to lose control. It can even control you. But fear isn't all bad. Fear itself is good. Giving in to fear, well that's what you SHOULD fear.
There's a side to fear that you won't learn of until you face it. Whether you swam into the jaws of the shark knowingly or it grabbed you from behind, it has the capacity to move something within you. Fear can change even the most stagnant of situations. It can budge the most heavy of thoughts and get the boulder rolling down the mountain. You can run, you can hide, but you can't get rid of it until you face it, upfront and ready. And trust me, you are going to want to.
You can try your hardest to put up with the fear, to gain comfort in it's presence, ignoring the urge to roll up in a ball. Or you can look it directly in the eyes, see what is there to be seen and do something about it. The only thing you have to fear is fear itself, that is correct. But you shouldn't have to fear fear? That sounds silly but it's true. You just shouldn't have to. And you don't.
Fear can be your friend. It can nudge you out of your comfort zone, it can awaken the beast within. It can move mountains and change the direction of the wind in an instant, if you allow it to. Fear can get you to places you have never seen, tell you things you have never heard.
I have learned to recognize the way fear feels as it approaches me. The uneasiness, the sudden and blank decision to run away, sometimes not even knowing why or what I am fleeing. I know the perpetuating feeling of discomfort and the confusion of the unknown. I know that it will bring me to beautiful horizons and breathtaking views if only I could push past the discomfort and the unknown, if only I could. I hold this wisdom in my heart, loud and clear. Yet my legs run away first, before I can realize any of this. And in an instant, the moment is gone and I am far away from where I desire, from where I planned.
I think I know what I want, I think I know what I need, but I don't know where that will take me. I don't know how this lesson will turn out or where it will bring me, but I do know that I don't want to fear it. I want it to change me. Perhaps I am just confusing myself and running my mind ragged. Or perhaps I am genuinely working through these thoughts, actually getting somewhere in this chaotic, disorderly mind. I may not possess the answers to anything, but I do have in my grips, the ability to look fear right in the eyes and decide to dance with him. And if I dance with my fear and I learn how to step to his rhythm without him stepping on my toes, perhaps we could create a beautiful scene. And maybe, just maybe that beautiful dance can teach me how fear can help me. It can show me, within myself, not to run away but to stay and dance with him. The music has been playing this whole time and I have been too busy running away to enjoy it.
The truth is, there is beauty in everything. There is beauty in pain, in fear, in apprehension. It's the music that's playing in the background, patiently waiting for us to hear it that holds the beauty. It's the decision to dance with our fears instead of giving them power over us, over our desires and the way we go after them. Fear can be a friend or a foe. A nightmare or a revolution. But the only thing that fear cannot be is your deciding factor.
Fear can't decide the path you take my dears, only you can.
There's a side to fear that you won't learn of until you face it. Whether you swam into the jaws of the shark knowingly or it grabbed you from behind, it has the capacity to move something within you. Fear can change even the most stagnant of situations. It can budge the most heavy of thoughts and get the boulder rolling down the mountain. You can run, you can hide, but you can't get rid of it until you face it, upfront and ready. And trust me, you are going to want to.
You can try your hardest to put up with the fear, to gain comfort in it's presence, ignoring the urge to roll up in a ball. Or you can look it directly in the eyes, see what is there to be seen and do something about it. The only thing you have to fear is fear itself, that is correct. But you shouldn't have to fear fear? That sounds silly but it's true. You just shouldn't have to. And you don't.
Fear can be your friend. It can nudge you out of your comfort zone, it can awaken the beast within. It can move mountains and change the direction of the wind in an instant, if you allow it to. Fear can get you to places you have never seen, tell you things you have never heard.
I have learned to recognize the way fear feels as it approaches me. The uneasiness, the sudden and blank decision to run away, sometimes not even knowing why or what I am fleeing. I know the perpetuating feeling of discomfort and the confusion of the unknown. I know that it will bring me to beautiful horizons and breathtaking views if only I could push past the discomfort and the unknown, if only I could. I hold this wisdom in my heart, loud and clear. Yet my legs run away first, before I can realize any of this. And in an instant, the moment is gone and I am far away from where I desire, from where I planned.
I think I know what I want, I think I know what I need, but I don't know where that will take me. I don't know how this lesson will turn out or where it will bring me, but I do know that I don't want to fear it. I want it to change me. Perhaps I am just confusing myself and running my mind ragged. Or perhaps I am genuinely working through these thoughts, actually getting somewhere in this chaotic, disorderly mind. I may not possess the answers to anything, but I do have in my grips, the ability to look fear right in the eyes and decide to dance with him. And if I dance with my fear and I learn how to step to his rhythm without him stepping on my toes, perhaps we could create a beautiful scene. And maybe, just maybe that beautiful dance can teach me how fear can help me. It can show me, within myself, not to run away but to stay and dance with him. The music has been playing this whole time and I have been too busy running away to enjoy it.
The truth is, there is beauty in everything. There is beauty in pain, in fear, in apprehension. It's the music that's playing in the background, patiently waiting for us to hear it that holds the beauty. It's the decision to dance with our fears instead of giving them power over us, over our desires and the way we go after them. Fear can be a friend or a foe. A nightmare or a revolution. But the only thing that fear cannot be is your deciding factor.
Fear can't decide the path you take my dears, only you can.
Monday, July 24, 2017
Don't Fear The Roar
We're in a precarious time. There are mass changes occurring within each and every one of us as well as collectively. We are in a time of passion, a time of catalytic change and rearranging. Releasing and rebuilding. Stronger, more powerful, more authentic.
You are a lion. Fierce and graceful. You must know of your size and the power that you hold, the self actualization it takes to face up to your biggest challenges.
You are on fire. You have been slowly standing up to your fears, conquering them one at a time. The days have begun to bleed together, the shifts we are feeling within us are those of immense necessity and depth.
This fire that blazes within you is filled with passion, direction, enormity. It burns through the festered parts of you that hold you back. It sets your mind ablaze, your sense of self and of body simmers with the heat of a thousand suns.
You are being called forward. You are being asked to rise up to your potential, release the lion that sleeps within. Use the power that you posses, your lion, to create. Not destroy. Use the anger, the passion, the burning inside of you. Use it all to create life. Create words, pictures, love, ideas, armies of warriors that will take on the challenges that lie ahead. Use the power to give birth to something new. To change your life, the direction you're headed. Use the fire to burn down your fears and inhibitions and to scorch through the beliefs that keep you chained to your own existence.
You are bigger, better and more beautiful than you have ever seen yourself before. Rise up to the challenge, my friends. Unleash your lion and watch as you step into the power you've held within all this time. The world is your oyster and you have absolutely nothing holding you back but yourself.
So it all comes down to this.. Will you let your lion roar?
You are a lion. Fierce and graceful. You must know of your size and the power that you hold, the self actualization it takes to face up to your biggest challenges.
You are on fire. You have been slowly standing up to your fears, conquering them one at a time. The days have begun to bleed together, the shifts we are feeling within us are those of immense necessity and depth.
This fire that blazes within you is filled with passion, direction, enormity. It burns through the festered parts of you that hold you back. It sets your mind ablaze, your sense of self and of body simmers with the heat of a thousand suns.
You are being called forward. You are being asked to rise up to your potential, release the lion that sleeps within. Use the power that you posses, your lion, to create. Not destroy. Use the anger, the passion, the burning inside of you. Use it all to create life. Create words, pictures, love, ideas, armies of warriors that will take on the challenges that lie ahead. Use the power to give birth to something new. To change your life, the direction you're headed. Use the fire to burn down your fears and inhibitions and to scorch through the beliefs that keep you chained to your own existence.
You are bigger, better and more beautiful than you have ever seen yourself before. Rise up to the challenge, my friends. Unleash your lion and watch as you step into the power you've held within all this time. The world is your oyster and you have absolutely nothing holding you back but yourself.
So it all comes down to this.. Will you let your lion roar?
Thursday, July 20, 2017
Lost in the Lust for Life
I'm in love. Not with a person, not with an idea. I am in love with the inspiration that life brings me. I am in love with the colors of the water that decorate our earth like a mystical blanket. With the sounds of cars speeding by my window, ever so busily. I am in love with the way the humid air kisses my skin on a hot and blazing day. I am in love with the color of the plants that surround me, pressed against a stormy sky backdrop. I am in love with the sounds of laughter that echo from my own chords.
You are not my muse. No one will be my singular inspiration. Not even myself. The gentle ideas that flow off my tongue would have found their place on my lips whether you found yours or not. The sounds of life that flow from my lungs will continue to flow long after you are gone. My eyes will open, and close, without your finger pointing to where I shall look.
See, it is not a person that I love with such deep longing, it is not a person that I wish to know forever, for that ship has sailed. But rather, it's the warmth that runs through my body and out into the world that breathes fire into my eyes. I'm not your typical romantic. I don't need flowers, sunsets, or kisses on the neck. I don't need poems or chocolates or moonlit walks on the beach. I need to be set free, safe enough to wander however far I desire. I need to hike to the top of a canyon, swing from the tallest tree on the river bank, and watch the storm clouds roll in from the edge of the earth. I need to jump from the highest altitudes and dive the depths of the ocean, searching for meaning in what I feel, knowing I will always discover more. I need to run loose in a field of sweet grass, dance through the streets in the rain, roam beneath the trees, beneath the singing birds perched upon the branches I long to rest on. I don't want love, I want more than love has to offer. I want life.
But what good is the adventure, the pure happiness, without someone to share it with? What good is the breath that leaves your mouth when the view in front of you takes your thoughts away, if there is no one to breathe it back into you? What good is the thrill, the adrenaline, the tickle in your soul if you can't turn to someone and look them in the eyes, knowing they feel it too. Knowing that they understand the lust and the surge of life that flows through your veins.
There are a million things I must do before I will sit in a rocking chair on a porch next to someone, call it a day and just be in love. There is so much to feel with those who crave to discover the very ground I dream of walking on. So much time to spend, alone and with as many different minds as possible. But even with all that I already know, there is a whole life before me that I can't even think on.
You may not be my inspiration, none of you may be my muse, ever. But there is one bad-ass bitch who will always rip the words right out of my spinning head, better than I ever could have explained them. Life, that's who.
You are not my muse. No one will be my singular inspiration. Not even myself. The gentle ideas that flow off my tongue would have found their place on my lips whether you found yours or not. The sounds of life that flow from my lungs will continue to flow long after you are gone. My eyes will open, and close, without your finger pointing to where I shall look.
See, it is not a person that I love with such deep longing, it is not a person that I wish to know forever, for that ship has sailed. But rather, it's the warmth that runs through my body and out into the world that breathes fire into my eyes. I'm not your typical romantic. I don't need flowers, sunsets, or kisses on the neck. I don't need poems or chocolates or moonlit walks on the beach. I need to be set free, safe enough to wander however far I desire. I need to hike to the top of a canyon, swing from the tallest tree on the river bank, and watch the storm clouds roll in from the edge of the earth. I need to jump from the highest altitudes and dive the depths of the ocean, searching for meaning in what I feel, knowing I will always discover more. I need to run loose in a field of sweet grass, dance through the streets in the rain, roam beneath the trees, beneath the singing birds perched upon the branches I long to rest on. I don't want love, I want more than love has to offer. I want life.
But what good is the adventure, the pure happiness, without someone to share it with? What good is the breath that leaves your mouth when the view in front of you takes your thoughts away, if there is no one to breathe it back into you? What good is the thrill, the adrenaline, the tickle in your soul if you can't turn to someone and look them in the eyes, knowing they feel it too. Knowing that they understand the lust and the surge of life that flows through your veins.
There are a million things I must do before I will sit in a rocking chair on a porch next to someone, call it a day and just be in love. There is so much to feel with those who crave to discover the very ground I dream of walking on. So much time to spend, alone and with as many different minds as possible. But even with all that I already know, there is a whole life before me that I can't even think on.
You may not be my inspiration, none of you may be my muse, ever. But there is one bad-ass bitch who will always rip the words right out of my spinning head, better than I ever could have explained them. Life, that's who.
Wednesday, July 12, 2017
Change Your Mind
Change. A scary, deliberate, sometimes anxiety provoking word.
Change. An exciting, expansive, life opening word.
Change is not so simple. It's neither bad nor good, yet both entirely. It is the thing that we dread and for some, it scares the living hell out of us. However it's also the thing that people seek out, knowing it will lead them forward onto newer, greater things.
Change used to be something I was terrified of. I would cling to the past, clench my fists around the "things" I didn't want to lose, and dance with the beliefs I never wanted to give up. I thought I could stay away from change. If I held on tight enough, no one could rip anything from my arms until I was ready to let it go. But that was the problem. I saw change as someone ripping something from me, taking it away, leaving me behind in pieces. But that's not true.
Change is so much bigger than we think. It's not just the stripping away of the old, it's incredibly inspiring. It's electric and powerful. It opens us up to experiences we never thought relevant or even possible. But we don't always see it that way because of the loss that it often entails and the discomfort we expect.
Change can be intimidating, or it can awaken something exhilarating inside of you. Every time I have the courage to transform myself, I discover something brilliant about life. I learn about myself and I enjoy experiences that will forever shape who I am in the best possible way. Embracing change sounds cliche, but it's so necessary. If you seek after change with the determination to conquer your fears and trek onward, you will without a doubt unearth such great wisdom and experience, a beautiful chest of treasure, that will surely bring you much happiness.
When I'm feeling stuck in place or scared of a big change, I like to do something I call "24 changes". I pick 24 smaller aspects of my daily life to change. Taking down an art piece or adding one, getting a new phone case, changing my face wash, rearranging my desk, putting a new sticker on my car. Whatever you have been doing routinely for too long, no matter how small, SWITCH IT UP! Finally get that new lamp, change that burnt out light bulb, get rid of that old jewelry box you never use. This theory of changing as many small aspects of your life that you can will show you that:
1. Change is cool not scary
2. You could discover something amazing you've never tried before
3. You might just inspire a bigger change to occur in your life
No matter what changes you are facing, I promise you, it can be done. It doesn't have to be hard, it doesn't have to be incredibly uncomfortable. There is so much out there to experience, so why not try to live as many different ways as you possibly can? Change your mind about change and it will never fail to carry you onward to your next big adventure.
Change. An exciting, expansive, life opening word.
Change is not so simple. It's neither bad nor good, yet both entirely. It is the thing that we dread and for some, it scares the living hell out of us. However it's also the thing that people seek out, knowing it will lead them forward onto newer, greater things.
Change used to be something I was terrified of. I would cling to the past, clench my fists around the "things" I didn't want to lose, and dance with the beliefs I never wanted to give up. I thought I could stay away from change. If I held on tight enough, no one could rip anything from my arms until I was ready to let it go. But that was the problem. I saw change as someone ripping something from me, taking it away, leaving me behind in pieces. But that's not true.
Change is so much bigger than we think. It's not just the stripping away of the old, it's incredibly inspiring. It's electric and powerful. It opens us up to experiences we never thought relevant or even possible. But we don't always see it that way because of the loss that it often entails and the discomfort we expect.
Change can be intimidating, or it can awaken something exhilarating inside of you. Every time I have the courage to transform myself, I discover something brilliant about life. I learn about myself and I enjoy experiences that will forever shape who I am in the best possible way. Embracing change sounds cliche, but it's so necessary. If you seek after change with the determination to conquer your fears and trek onward, you will without a doubt unearth such great wisdom and experience, a beautiful chest of treasure, that will surely bring you much happiness.
When I'm feeling stuck in place or scared of a big change, I like to do something I call "24 changes". I pick 24 smaller aspects of my daily life to change. Taking down an art piece or adding one, getting a new phone case, changing my face wash, rearranging my desk, putting a new sticker on my car. Whatever you have been doing routinely for too long, no matter how small, SWITCH IT UP! Finally get that new lamp, change that burnt out light bulb, get rid of that old jewelry box you never use. This theory of changing as many small aspects of your life that you can will show you that:
1. Change is cool not scary
2. You could discover something amazing you've never tried before
3. You might just inspire a bigger change to occur in your life
No matter what changes you are facing, I promise you, it can be done. It doesn't have to be hard, it doesn't have to be incredibly uncomfortable. There is so much out there to experience, so why not try to live as many different ways as you possibly can? Change your mind about change and it will never fail to carry you onward to your next big adventure.
Saturday, July 8, 2017
There is Only One You
Is anyone else tired of living in a world where we are not only encouraged to blend in but discouraged to stick out? Does anyone care enough about what they have to offer humanity to stand out when it's made so uncomfortable and difficult? Think about it this way. Out of the billions of people on this planet, there is none other like you. Never has been, never will be. Even identical twins have two separate souls, right? So why the fuck would you want to approach the world just like Joe Shmoe over here when you have your own eyes to see, your own ears to listen with and your own mind to unleash?
It hurts my heart to watch someone with such beauty, such experience, and so much to show the world through their perspective, aspire to be just like everyone else. There is absolutely only one person in the entire universe, only one mind and heart that can love the way you love. There is only one that can shout your words to the world, saying what needs to be said and telling what needs to be told. There is only one that can sing the song that lies within your soul. There is only one that can impact the people that surround you in the way that you do. There is only one that can walk this earth and leave behind a trail of who you are and what you live for.
So many of us lead a life on autopilot. Your true self, tucked away from society, is often hidden from your very own eyes on your worst days. You hate who you are, or who you think you are. You push everything that matters below the surface and you operate with only a small portion of yourself facing the outside. You are viewing yourself from the outside in. It feels bad or even malicious to show your true self to the world. Like you will be received, scrutinized, and rejected. You have been conditioned to believe you are selfish, undeserving, unworthy. You have been told this about yourself by those who can barely break through your cement wall to even catch a glimpse at who you really are. But would you even recognize that person if they were finally freed? If you became totally open, to yourself and to others, would you even know who you were? If you viewed yourself from the inside out, you would finally meet your deepest self.
At this point in my life, I wish to climb the tallest rooftop I can find. I crave a view of this world that is of MY eyes and MY senses. I wish to lookout over this life I have created for myself and scream at the top of my lungs. That is how I meet myself. I want to watch the sun set in front of me and view the picture that is painted in my mind all at the same time. I wish to share my wisdom, my ideas, my words with anyone who stops to hear them. That is how I meet myself. At this point in my life, all I want to do is free myself until there is nothing holding me back from what I desire. And I desire to be me, to teach you who I am.
My passions and my ambitions are of me and as I set out on my quest to find freedom, I encourage you to do the same. Use those parts of you that you have tucked away for so long. Free the pieces of you that deserve to run wild, impacting life the way that you are here for. There is absolutely, positively nothing more brilliant than a mind with no boundaries, a personality with no mute button and eyes with no filters. Step away from the bunch, the bunch that has blended together until it is just one collective being. Leave behind the self that believes you are more valuable put in place with the others than floating free, free enough to shine the way that you wish to shine, the way that you NEED to shine.
I'm not really sure what has inspired this piece except for the fact that I may have just learned how beautiful it is to truly be yourself. I don't think I have ever seen a more uninhibited version of myself than I see right here, right now. And it's all because I decided there was just something about myself that the world deserves to see. I decided that I deserve to be seen. Not through your eyes but through mine. I am the only me you will ever meet and I want you all to know how good it feels to be free enough to give the world an opportunity to meet that person in you. You are compassionate, you are beautiful, you are gifted, you are here. You are life and life would not be what it is without you. Be free, my dudes. There is only one you, so let. It. Out.
It hurts my heart to watch someone with such beauty, such experience, and so much to show the world through their perspective, aspire to be just like everyone else. There is absolutely only one person in the entire universe, only one mind and heart that can love the way you love. There is only one that can shout your words to the world, saying what needs to be said and telling what needs to be told. There is only one that can sing the song that lies within your soul. There is only one that can impact the people that surround you in the way that you do. There is only one that can walk this earth and leave behind a trail of who you are and what you live for.
So many of us lead a life on autopilot. Your true self, tucked away from society, is often hidden from your very own eyes on your worst days. You hate who you are, or who you think you are. You push everything that matters below the surface and you operate with only a small portion of yourself facing the outside. You are viewing yourself from the outside in. It feels bad or even malicious to show your true self to the world. Like you will be received, scrutinized, and rejected. You have been conditioned to believe you are selfish, undeserving, unworthy. You have been told this about yourself by those who can barely break through your cement wall to even catch a glimpse at who you really are. But would you even recognize that person if they were finally freed? If you became totally open, to yourself and to others, would you even know who you were? If you viewed yourself from the inside out, you would finally meet your deepest self.
At this point in my life, I wish to climb the tallest rooftop I can find. I crave a view of this world that is of MY eyes and MY senses. I wish to lookout over this life I have created for myself and scream at the top of my lungs. That is how I meet myself. I want to watch the sun set in front of me and view the picture that is painted in my mind all at the same time. I wish to share my wisdom, my ideas, my words with anyone who stops to hear them. That is how I meet myself. At this point in my life, all I want to do is free myself until there is nothing holding me back from what I desire. And I desire to be me, to teach you who I am.
My passions and my ambitions are of me and as I set out on my quest to find freedom, I encourage you to do the same. Use those parts of you that you have tucked away for so long. Free the pieces of you that deserve to run wild, impacting life the way that you are here for. There is absolutely, positively nothing more brilliant than a mind with no boundaries, a personality with no mute button and eyes with no filters. Step away from the bunch, the bunch that has blended together until it is just one collective being. Leave behind the self that believes you are more valuable put in place with the others than floating free, free enough to shine the way that you wish to shine, the way that you NEED to shine.
I'm not really sure what has inspired this piece except for the fact that I may have just learned how beautiful it is to truly be yourself. I don't think I have ever seen a more uninhibited version of myself than I see right here, right now. And it's all because I decided there was just something about myself that the world deserves to see. I decided that I deserve to be seen. Not through your eyes but through mine. I am the only me you will ever meet and I want you all to know how good it feels to be free enough to give the world an opportunity to meet that person in you. You are compassionate, you are beautiful, you are gifted, you are here. You are life and life would not be what it is without you. Be free, my dudes. There is only one you, so let. It. Out.
Saturday, July 1, 2017
What Would You Do?
I have a decision to make. There isn't a real deadline, I don't have much to lose and there's nothing forcing me to make a choice in any way. Yet I sit here in my car waiting for the storm to pass, with my seat reclined and my eyes watching the rain pour down on the windshield like an Amazon waterfall.
I could go inside; my front door is less than 5 feet away. But here I am, making a decision.
Do I play it safe? There isn't really a dangerous aspect to this situation, except the fragility of my heart.
I know that there's a real chance at life waiting for me behind this door, and if I choose to walk away there will be lessons to learn. Either way I choose will lead me on to where I need to be but that one door may bring me to a paradise worth risking it all to find.
I don't have anything to lose. This decision will not break me, it will not destroy me. But it could damage me in ways I am not yet aware of. Or it could transform me.
How easy it would be to just walk away. To turn around and let it all go. What it was, what it could have been, never to be known. How easy it would be to never find out. But I'm curious. What if I didn't walk away? What if I stayed, feet planted firmly on the ground and opened that door? It could be so amazing, it could be beautiful and miraculous. It could be full of adventures and love.
Doesn't just the thought of it make it worth a try?
As the rainfall begins to relax, so does my body. I sink into my seat, realizing what it is I need to do. My heart beats heavy and the butterflies in my stomach flutter around endlessly. The land beyond that door could be filled with love or it could just lead to another door. My mind races to cover everything that could possibly happen.
I have a decision to make. There isn't a real deadline but my heart begs me to make a choice. My heart urges me to step forward without fear and say what I need to but my mind tells me to be cautious. For when I finally decide to open that door, I can never go back. But who says I'd want to?
Monday, June 5, 2017
It's Not You, It's Me
Relationships. What the hell are they? I get wanting to have a best friend that you can bond with on intimate levels AND go on adventures with. I understand needing to have a person, your person, someone to know you like the back of their hand, support you, and encourage you. But despite the practicality of these basic yet crucial characteristics, I feel as though we are conditioned, or rather we are emotionally inclined, to seek after a relationship for all of the wrong reasons.
Some relationships appear to be diversions. Something to distract yourself from soul searching, from getting to know your true self, who you are, what you are made of, what you seek in life. You don't want to get to know your deepest, truest self? No problem! Get to know this dude instead. Because that makes so much sense, right? Dedicate your emotional and daily life to learning about and falling in love with another human because the thought of learning about yourself and falling in love with yourself is just so exhausting. Or scary. Or overwhelming.
I get it, I truly do! I was there once, I was there last week. We seek out emotional companionship, intimate connections, and a union of support because we need a crutch. We need someone to get us by, to teach us about life and about love and what our hearts are capable of. But what about you? What about your soul and all of the things you've never learned about yourself? What about your deepest thoughts that you can't even tell yourself, let alone your significant other?
Not all people/relationships are like this, that's not what I am getting at. Some of you out there have done the soul searching. You've gone to the movie alone, eaten the expensive dinner, table for one. You have gone to sleep alone every night for the last year. You've gotten home from work, cooked up one chicken breast and laughed -or cried- alone. You've taken the hiatus from intimacy, for whatever reasons, and turned inward. You've experienced yourself in the darkest, deepest corners of your soul. You know what you need, what you want, what you desire, and what you desire to never be. You've came clean with your issues of denial and the aspects of your life and of yourself that need to be faced. You did it all on your own and that is truly magnificent. Congratulations, you have learned how to love yourself, each and every bit of you.
So my point here is this: We all need someone to connect to. We all need someone to love and be loved by, with whom we can explore life and all it encompasses. But we need two of them, and one is yourself. You need to love and be loved, by yourself and your partner. You need to discover and experience profound joy, with yourself and with your partner. You need to feed your soul, to explore it and learn how it grows with each and every breath, as well as learning about your partner's life/love and where it fits into your journey. You can't do any of this, I mean you really can't get anywhere deep, without knowing your true soul better than your subconscious desires.
What if I'm wrong, what if you simply don't see things this way? Well that's just fine but here's what will probably happen if you neglect your self discovery and put discovery of someone else first. You will find a him, or a her, and you will fall into an unhealthy projection of a partnership that echoes and pokes your deepest, darkest wounds. You will be lost in denial of what truly makes your heart ache because you feed it with the love of someone else, who may not always be able to be that tape and glue for you. You will search in his/her eyes daily for reassurance of who you are and what you are meant to be. You will constantly need validation that they are going to stick around because you have discovered their soul before yours, without them you are empty. Or so you'll think.
In order to not end this on a pretty negative thought, I urge you all to fall deeply, madly, and irrationally in love with yourself. You crave companionship? Desire? Passion? Support? Go within and find the endless supply of love and strength you have to discover. I gaurentee, I PROMISE that as soon as you do this, as soon as you decide to be your person, another one will come along. And they will be your second person. You will fall in love with them and they with you, for you will both have one very important thing in common. Unconditional love for self. And when you love yourself always and forever, no matter what happens, well how could someone else not love you too?
Friday, April 28, 2017
A Lost Heart Freshly Discovered
I don't know about you, but the last few weeks have been kicking my ass into shape. There have been epiphanies and lessons galore, some of the most life changing for me so far. One of the realizations I have been working through recently has turned out to be one of the most important lessons I have yet to learn in this life. I am having difficulty swallowing it and living in it truthfully, so I find it most productive to speak it out loud to others, in turn speaking my truth to myself.
If you are reading this, then you have a truth you must speak as well. The bigger the pill to swallow, the bigger the gulp of water. So fill up your glasses now, because this is a big one for me and I bet you have a big pill to swallow yourself as well. Here it goes!
I go back to that time, the time in which my world stood still. I hold the hollow me who sits in those moments, brain dead from fear. I hold her as she cries, I sing to her as she shakes and sobs. I sing of love, how it never ceases to exist.
I tell her how everything will eventually be okay, how she can't see it yet but she will discover another great love. And when that time comes, she will know of another way to love, one that fits the cookie cutter shape that is now her new heart. Shaped by the life she has lived thus far, shaped by the cracks in her soul.
I tell her that it is okay to step out of that jail cell, it is okay to leave those frames that play in her mind like a film stuck on repeat. The frames that depict the trauma, pain, fear, and loss. It is okay to leave that behind. It was the love and change that has made her who she is today so she can let go of the pain and frozen parts of her, for all they will take with them when they leave is her darkness.
Let go. Let go. I tell her to let her hands release the grasp and push those moments out to sea, rescuing her hollow self from the disaster aboard, sending it away to where it belongs. In the past.
I wish to no longer seal myself off from the world. I wish to leave the place within me in which I have been trapped, frozen in time that does not move. I am not frozen, I am moving forward. I am not lost, I am discovering myself everyday. The hollow self that I have rescued from that awful time will thank me when someone comes along and wishes to teach me how to love again.
I don't have to stay prisoner to that death, I don't have to sacrifice the rest of my life in order to keep the memories and love that are left behind. Those moments live in me, in my structure and in my soul, forever acting as the foundation of the life I have yet to live. There is so much life out there to build on top of the part of me that exists in this moment, and the parts that have withered and cracked will forever make me who I am, no matter how deep those cracks run.
Thursday, April 13, 2017
Entertain Me While I Wait For The Rest Of My Life To Begin
My sun will set when it's ready. I stay in limbo because that is what I tell myself. I tell myself to wait and hang in suspension until someone gives me permission to set and rise again. Well that's bullshit. The universe doesn't decide when my new life begins, you don't decide, and I sure as hell can't wait until I decide because at this rate, that will never happen.
The sun that shines on the life I no longer live needs to set, bringing the dark and the unknown with it. This needs to happen so that the sun will rise back up, illuminating the things that are missing and the things that present themselves, brand new with the tag still intact. After all, what good is a life of tragedy without the paradise that follows?
I put in my time. I served my sentence of struggle and I am ready for my sun to set. To say goodbye to the world that controlled my everything. I am done entertaining myself while I wait for the first day of the rest of my life because the sun is ready to rise, and no sun can bring itself to rise if it has yet to set on the skyline. Bring the darkness, the shadows. Lower the final curtain and take a bow, for the entertainment has ended. And when the sun rises in the morning, I will welcome the bright and shining novelty like the birds welcome the morning rays of golden light.
Hello, new life. I have been waiting for you.
Sunday, April 2, 2017
Don't Let The World Dim Your Shine!
Ever since I was younger, I have always loved to write. It wasn't the act itself or the product I wound up with, but rather the emotion and energy that I put into the words. The way that I expressed my thoughts felt freeing and empowering. No matter how people reacted to my writing, I felt on top of the world when someone would read it. Until I got further down my journey of education and writing became a harshly judged assignment. Being the only subject in school that is partially graded using a biased opinion of your personal self expression, writing became a modality of disappointment in my life. There I was, blissfully expressing my soul through writing and when I turned it in to receive a grade, the teacher/professor used harsh opinion to express how they personally felt about my writing. This was usually a negative comment. Perhaps it was due to my lack of effort learning grammar or specific advanced terminology. Or maybe because I had issues following the prompt the way that the teacher expected all of us to. Regardless, the way that my writing was judged as I grew up and went through different systems of education, always ended in disappointment in myself, in my ability to express my thoughts, and in my intelligence. A bad grade was a bad grade but a negative, written comment on my expression of thoughts was very discouraging.
The number one thing that those in spirit regret the most is caring what other people thought. It held them back from the freedom of experiencing self-expression AND unconditional love, all at the same time. This experience, this life, it's only going to last as long as it does and then we are back in spirit. What does your soul need to do while you are here? What does it need to experience that you are too afraid or too inhibited to do? Set. Yourself. Free.
So that is exactly what I did. I realized that since I had stopped taking college courses, writing didn't have to be just for an assignment like it previously felt. I was led to write and when my life took a crazy turn, I had no choice but to document my experiences in a journal. This led to the discovery that my writing was actually a beautiful tool of release and not a sack of junk that my school teachers had always led me to believe. I saw the passion and emotion in my writing, I felt the emotional release when I wrote about things that made my soul ache. I discovered the feeling of pride in myself again when people read my writing, except this time they actually liked it! I was stunned at how much growth I had experienced when it came to my writing skills. Or is it possible that I was just never open to believing that I could create beautiful energy through words with all of these adults telling me how sub par my writing skills were? Was I distracted from a natural ability because I chose to listen to the opinions of others? Did I lose years of love for writing just because I told myself "they are right, I am worthless"? Yes I did. But not anymore!
I knew that I had something good going on with the way that I expressed my thoughts through writing but I assumed that these people in my life knew more about myself and my abilities than I did. Looking back now, it seems so ridiculous that I would give others that sort of power in my life but I did and now I am left with the thought, "why?" Because I didn't yet see that knowing my own worth was more important than listening to the opinions of others. I let the world dim my shine, I let them take away something that I enjoy doing and that comes natural to me. For years I kept myself from writing, something that saved my soul when my world came crashing down.
Now, writing is something that I do everyday. I believe my words help heal myself and those who may take something from them. I also believe that whatever it is I put out there through my writing can also inspire each and every mind that skims over my words. I will forever print my thoughts on paper, watching the world change because of it, all the while cursing the mind that let the world dim my shine for so long. This shine is never going away, not at the hands of anyone but my own. I encourage each and every soul that is brought to this post for a reason to NEVER let the world take away who you are. Don't let other people control your life experience, don't give them the power to make you feel as if you shouldn't be yourself. In the end, those who pass us by and give us a glance of nonacceptance serve no purpose in our soul path except to teach us of this very lesson. The lesson of self acceptance and unconditional love, because with these aspects of your soul intact, every single form of self expression is a beautiful kiss on this life, left for the world to see who we really are and why we are here.
Shine bright, all of you beautiful, unique souls and never let the world dim that shine :)
Saturday, March 25, 2017
What's Your Label?
Growing up in the 21st century has taught me a very important lesson. People these days (and for who knows how long) have seen youth and young adulthood as a time to decide who you want to be. A time to label yourself with one or two words, which are supposed to describe a dream but in actuality, they only describe a duty. This person that you identify with isn't labeled by a trait or characteristic, but rather by a profession. As if what you do in life for a career is the only thing that gives your life meaning through expression.
When you are young and in grade school, people often ask you, "what do you want to be when you grow up?" and your answer is always a job. For me, my go to answer was actually a dog because when someone asked me what I wanted to be, my imagination painted a picture of the kind of soul I wanted to be and the forms that I wanted to express myself through, not the type of career I want to have or the label that career would give me. No, I always imagined myself being a friendly soul who loves to love people when I grew up. Of course eventually my ego overpowered my spirit and once I was in middle school I started to identify with different careers. None of them were related and they often switched frequently, but the one thing that always brings me back to this topic is the fact that between grade school and now, I have severely lost myself. I lost my complete identity and I was led no where but in circles because all I searched for was the career that was supposed to make me, me. But I never found it because it isn't about picking a career or going in a certain direction professionally, it is about what makes me happy and what modality of living gives me the most joy and fulfillment. That alone brought me to realize that you will never discover your soul path and life meaning if you are constantly just searching for a label to slap on your life. You will never reach total fulfillment and joy because you have sold yourself short! You have gone out into the world looking for a category to fit yourself in under. You have sought after a label for the way you view yourself. The only labels you should give yourself should be how you express your soul.
I am not just a writer, I am a lover, a discoverer, a ponderer, an adventurer, an empath, a strong woman, and a dedicated feeler. I am a people person who makes a living off of my connection with people. You aren't just a teacher, you are an intuitive soul who uses your innate connection with children to show them their full potential. You aren't just a business man, you are a smooth talker who enjoys turning people on to fresh ideas and new ways of living. You aren't just a musician, you are a beautifully expressed soul who uses your gifts to affect peoples' emotions positively and inspire them to live life through feeling and energy. You aren't just an artist, you are a visionary who transfers your energetic frequency and internal images onto something physical, in which people can view it and feel your frequency. You aren't just a mechanic, you are an analytical thinker who uses your ability to work with and operate functional machines and equipment to provide transportation and safety to people. You aren't just a grocery store clerk, you are someone who's smile and simple "how are you today?" can make an exhausting chore into a task that involves life instead of just work.
So, as you can see, identifying with a word that simply labels the physical job you do in life limits you from opening your eyes and identifying yourself as a soul with a grand purpose, rather than just seeing a human here to earn a living and die. I promise each and every one of you that your "job" is so much more than what you do. Your life is so much more than who you call yourself! We are all extraordinary souls that were sent here to affect people, to change our own lives and the lives of others. We all have a purpose that cannot simply fit into one label or name. We all have an important job here, and that job can never be described by just one word or title.
After reading this, I urge you to ask yourself this question one last time and to write your answer down. Examine what gives your heart and soul joy and warmth, think on what makes you feel alive and important. Ask yourself on the deepest level you can reach, what do you want to be in life?
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