Entertain Me While I Wait For The Rest Of My Life To Begin

As I sit here on my favorite roof top, watching the sun sink below the horizon, I realize it represents my life. A part of me died last summer and this whole time since, I have been entertaining myself. Playing games and seeking answers while I wait for the birth of my new life. When will my sun set? When will the life that I have struggled with become the old? When will the new life I am so desperately and patiently waiting for show itself?

My sun will set when it's ready. I stay in limbo because that is what I tell myself. I tell myself to wait and hang in suspension until someone gives me permission to set and rise again. Well that's bullshit. The universe doesn't decide when my new life begins, you don't decide, and I sure as hell can't wait until I decide because at this rate, that will never happen. 

The sun that shines on the life I no longer live needs to set, bringing the dark and the unknown with it. This needs to happen so that the sun will rise back up, illuminating the things that are missing and the things that present themselves, brand new with the tag still intact. After all, what good is a life of tragedy without the paradise that follows? 

I put in my time. I served my sentence of struggle and I am ready for my sun to set. To say goodbye to the world that controlled my everything. I am done entertaining myself while I wait for the first day of the rest of my life because the sun is ready to rise, and no sun can bring itself to rise if it has yet to set on the skyline. Bring the darkness, the shadows. Lower the final curtain and take a bow, for the entertainment has ended. And when the sun rises in the morning, I will welcome the bright and shining novelty like the birds welcome the morning rays of golden light. 

Hello, new life. I have been waiting for you.