I haven't written anything for the world to read in a very long time. I seemed to have gone through block after block. One thing following another, I couldn't write the words. They all existed in my mind, swirling and swooping like a cool winter breeze. Refreshing my soul and giving me an extra breath to breathe. But no matter how hard I tried, I just could not get them to stick on paper. Not in anyway that made sense. Until the concept of healing was reborn into my life, once more. Until I had something worth screaming to the world.
Healing is something I know well. Like tennis or chess, I have scored some decent shots and won a few games against some worthy apponents. I have healed through phases, losses, and dissapointments. Injuries, accidents, and mishaps that left me weak and near hopelessness. I have pulled myself out of the darkest of depths, nursed myself back to health, and found joy in this life, once more. Yes, healing is something I know... but I am not quite sure that I understood all that it requires, all that it entails, and all that it begs of me until this very moment in time.
I used to believe you needed three things for healing: time, money, and opportunity. Boy, was I wrong! Healing can happen for a penny or less, in 15 years or the snap of a finger. Opportunity, however, is a different story. No, you don't need a spiritual medium, a reiki healer, or a million bucks to heal. You don't need to leave work on an extended sick leave or sabbatical. You don't need to fly to europe or sail the carribean (although healing adventures are never a bad thing). You don't need anything but your true and honest self, the tools and support you require to feel safe, and the opportunity to dive within.
Back to this opportunity thing. I don't mean a golden ticket or a fairy god mother. No, no, no you see, what you truly need is the opportunity to rise. But before you can rise, my dear, you must burn. Like my favorite idea of a being, the Phoenix, you must answer the call from the bottom of your soul to burn and rise from your ashes. A new being, entirely. A new perspective, a new idea of what is needed, a new sense of hope to pull through and RISE! It is okay to burn to ashes. To hit the ground so hard you feel the vibrations of every single hurt and every single failure you have experienced. It is okay to fail. To fall. To burst into flames and want to forget everything that you were before this moment. As long as you rise. As long as you show up for yourself and rise.
It takes a courageous heart to lift up from the ashes and continue forward, knowing nothing is the same and everything you know could evaporate into the dream that it was. It takes a bright, brave being of love to rise for themself and know that they might lose some of those that were flying with them. But that is what healing is! To shine the brightest light you can find within yourself, onto the dark shadows that have been lurking below, forgotten and allowed to run amuck, festering and destroying what is trying to grow. But those monsters have no place here. They have no home within me, within us all. They are meant to be seen, no matter how scary or startling. They are meant to be broken up through all of the words you can muster up and out of your straining, screaming throat. They are meant to dissolve into the atmosphere, leaving you just as you always were before they took up an unfair residence in your soul.
The shadow's last effect on you should be the warm feeling of love and hope that fills your body, once you release. Once you finally say it outloud, whether it is witnessed by yourself or a friend, once you finally let it exist and move out into the world, you may discover so much that was darkened by these shadows. Yes, that is right! The last thing the shadow does to your pained and broken self is give it the gift of hope. The gift of peace. The gift of lightness and freedom. Then, maybe, just maybe, you may see that you were never broken. You were healing.
