You can love me, but first you must know just a few things about me:
I've bent so far that I am still confused as to if I have broken or not. Some days I catch myself feeling like pieces of a whole. Other days I know that no one can break me but myself, therefore I am not broken. I wonder if I'll ever figure out how my heart works, if it will always be one or if it has split into many. I know that I may never understand my heart, so first you must know that you might not, either. At least, not until I do.
I have an irrational need to be strong. Strength is good, but I am addicted. My head is hard and I won't let you help me without putting up a fight for myself. Your intentions may temporarily be lost in my war against dependence, but I'll eventually decide to allow myself to lean on others, for I am only human. That's what teams are for. But you might have to remind me as we open up our eyes to a new day, that although I can do this life on my own, I don't have to.
Sometimes, emotions can overwhelm me. I can get as existential as Sartre without batting an eye. But the homeless person on the corner begging for another chance, the dirty street cat with no one to love, or a gesture of true selflessness done out of love for me, may leave me feeling winded and uncertain for a moment or two. Although powerful feelings can shake things up, there's a certain curiosity in the beauty of it all that I can't let go of. And that is what's truly in my heart, no matter the fear that steps in momentarily.
There is a constant conversation occurring in my mind, that rarely leaves me silent. I must take time to myself, to sort through all that is my thoughts. Moments of stillness are imperative for my sanity and functionality. Quieting my thoughts is wellness, withdrawing into myself is medicinal. My healing is my own. But after I emerge from my brief hibernation, I delight in sharing my revelations with all who will listen.
All of these parts, you see, make me who I am, and I have been me long before your heart tasted mine. These things that sound like warnings, are actually testaments. Requiring review for your essential understanding. Everything listed before this line and an infinity more, creates a soul who loves unconditionally, with every drop of self. A love so pure and extraordinary, that it will slice through to your core. So before you can love me, truly and really love me, you must first love yourself and all that you are. For love travels most beautifully from the inside, out, and I'll have it no other way.
Thursday, April 12, 2018
We Are What We Eat
Courage is not something that comes easily. It doesn't just flow through you like the thick blood that keeps your body going. It is discovered. Through the choices you make, the places you go, the people you meet. Courage exists within you but it isn't you. It asks to be summoned, like a deep breath before a high jump. It needs to be called forth and you have to want it.
I've realized lately that I do this thing where I plan something so far in advance, I'm not afraid to dream it. I know how much I want it, how much I need it, how it is truly meant to be because I'm not distracted by my own doubts or discomfort. Whatever it is, is so far away that my ego-driven mind doesn't take over to tell me I can't do it just yet. So I plan. I set a goal, speak it into existence, determine that it's happening, and talk about it like so. I plan the details of what it will be like, imagine the beauty, the luxury, the adventure. I go on with my days, seeking this dream that I hold in such golden light. I know how happy it will make me and at this point, it's so far away, that I don't feel any of the burdens. Just the joy that I know is coming. I don't feel the anxiety, the fear, I don't hear the voice in my head telling me I can't do it because it isn't time to think about that yet. It's only time to dream, it's only time to imagine the beauty of what I am moving towards. No fears or worries are aloud to enter because I'm not worried about how my dream will come to be. I am solely focused on the amazing, crazy happiness that lies ahead.
It's so important to have a period to dream. If you don't have time to live in the excitement of it all, to bathe in the joy of what you want to experience, to use your imagination to create the most beautiful picture in your mind and then immerse yourself in it, then you will never have the attitude needed to manifest the picture inside of your mind. Manifesting is all about living in the now. Living in the present moment, seeing the future moment in your mind, and allowing yourself to feel what that picture makes you feel. None of the burden of how you will get there, none of the fear of lack or loss, none of the worry of if you will make it, only the parts that make your stomach flutter in the most thrilling, magical way. Only the plans and the visions that bring your soul to a total state of bliss and fulfillment.
To manifest what it is you want to experience, you must decide to experience it. Decide you deserve it, decide it can happen. Choose what you want from life, tell the universe that you want it. Then tell yourself that you deserve it. Over and over. Because you do. There is no method of manifestation until you truly, absolutely believe you deserve what it is you want. That is the first step that cannot be skipped and to be honest, if you can get to a place where you believe with all of your heart that you deserve the things you want, the experiences your soul craves and your heart beats for, then life is yours. Period. And don't you dare tell yourself that you don't deserve any of it, because if your soul and your heart wish for it to be so, than you do deserve it. For what your heart and your soul tell you are guiding the way to joy, love, and happiness and you always deserve those. Each and every one of us.
Once you believe that you deserve what it is you desire, you must then work to believe that you can obtain it. That is step number two. When working through this, it will benefit you to remember that you need not know the means in order to believe in the ends. You do not need to know how you will get somewhere to get there, all you need to do is trust that there exists a path from where you are to where you wish to be. See that path as a line between two points, shaped however your mind wishes. Allow the universe to decide the method of the line between the point of where you are, and where you are headed. Imagine what you want. Decide the end point. You determine the destination. The pathway to this vision of yours, is a long and winding highway in a dark, quiet desert. All you can see is the 8 feet ahead of your car that the headlights illuminate. Yet you know you are on a road, and you know you are well on your way to your destination. And although you can only see 8 feet of road at a time, you know that as you keep moving forward, another 8 feet will appear, and another, and another. This is how life works. You pick a destination, a vision, a goal, an aspiration, a want, a desire, an adventure. You jump on the highway and drive. That is your part to play. You've got to get in the car and go, with your destination buzzing brightly in your mind. But once you are on that highway, it is not your job to see every inch of road that will lead you to your destination. That's the job of the GPS. Or, the universe. So allow the GPS (universe) to give you the direction you need, to guide you on the path ahead. Allow the headlights to light up what it is you need to see, and focus on driving your car the best you can on the road you are brought to. Knowing fully that the GPS will get you to your destination and the road will always unfold before you as you courageously drive onward.
Back to what I was saying before, about planning something so far in advance that you've already set it in motion and began manifesting it before you chicken out. Or in other words, before your nerves, your ego, the devil on your shoulder, convinces you that it cannot be done and your attitude implodes. This is a surefire way to confirm that your soul wants this, more specifically, that it's meant to happen. If you know deep down, that something needs to happen, and you feel it in your bones, you will do all you can to put it into motion before you might lose faith in your intuition, in your dream, in your heart's desire. That is courage. Planning a trip across the world, that feels so exciting and meant to be, before you start having panic attacks about leaving the continent for the first time, that's courage. Courage isn't living life without fear. That's not real. Courage is surfing the rough waves of life, the ones that bring both fear and a surge of exhilaration, knowing the thrill is worth the discomfort. Courage is following your soul's dreams, your heart's wishes, despite the fact that you may run into extreme worry and anxiety along the way. That's where courage and faith go hand in hand. Courage flows like a gentle surge of electricity when you have faith. Because although you may worry or fear certain things, you have faith in something higher. You have faith that there is a purpose for everything, and everything will serve a greater purpose. Then, courage seems more accessible. No matter what comes your way, you have the strength to believe. Even if you know it will be hard, scary, painful, uncomfortable. Courage is dreaming it up. Faith is trusting in that dream's meaning to your soul. Belief is knowing it will be. Courage is deciding you deserve what you desire, having faith that you can do it, and creating it. Despite the ego-based emotions you will experience along the way.
So my point here is this: Manifesting is courageous. Manifesting is hard. Manifesting is worth it. Manifesting your dreams is the most miraculous experience you can endure. Manifesting what lies within you, is natural. It is something we are made to do, energetically and spiritually. Our thoughts, emotions, beliefs, they all work together to create the reality we are surrounded by. What you operate from, you send out, you pull in, you become. You are one giant cellphone tower of energy, sending out signals to the universe with each and every word your mind produces, each feeling and emotion your attitude projects and your body experiences. You are constantly creating the life you experience, and you don't even realize it. That is how natural it is. So imagine, what life would be like, if you took it into your own hands? If you believed you have the courage that already lies within you, just waiting to be invoked? What would you do with that super power? That is what it is, a super power. Waiting to be brought forth, waiting to be put to use to save your life. Put on your cape, pull up your tights, set your destination in sight, and fly. Trust the universe to respond, trust yourself to believe, but most importantly, allow yourself to feel the satisfaction, the joy, the heart exploding happiness of the dream you are flying towards. Because it is already here, it is already a part of you. The minute you decide you want it and you can fly towards it, it is already yours. All you have to do is receive it.
The law of attraction is on your side, my friends. Dream big, believe even bigger.
I've realized lately that I do this thing where I plan something so far in advance, I'm not afraid to dream it. I know how much I want it, how much I need it, how it is truly meant to be because I'm not distracted by my own doubts or discomfort. Whatever it is, is so far away that my ego-driven mind doesn't take over to tell me I can't do it just yet. So I plan. I set a goal, speak it into existence, determine that it's happening, and talk about it like so. I plan the details of what it will be like, imagine the beauty, the luxury, the adventure. I go on with my days, seeking this dream that I hold in such golden light. I know how happy it will make me and at this point, it's so far away, that I don't feel any of the burdens. Just the joy that I know is coming. I don't feel the anxiety, the fear, I don't hear the voice in my head telling me I can't do it because it isn't time to think about that yet. It's only time to dream, it's only time to imagine the beauty of what I am moving towards. No fears or worries are aloud to enter because I'm not worried about how my dream will come to be. I am solely focused on the amazing, crazy happiness that lies ahead.
It's so important to have a period to dream. If you don't have time to live in the excitement of it all, to bathe in the joy of what you want to experience, to use your imagination to create the most beautiful picture in your mind and then immerse yourself in it, then you will never have the attitude needed to manifest the picture inside of your mind. Manifesting is all about living in the now. Living in the present moment, seeing the future moment in your mind, and allowing yourself to feel what that picture makes you feel. None of the burden of how you will get there, none of the fear of lack or loss, none of the worry of if you will make it, only the parts that make your stomach flutter in the most thrilling, magical way. Only the plans and the visions that bring your soul to a total state of bliss and fulfillment.
To manifest what it is you want to experience, you must decide to experience it. Decide you deserve it, decide it can happen. Choose what you want from life, tell the universe that you want it. Then tell yourself that you deserve it. Over and over. Because you do. There is no method of manifestation until you truly, absolutely believe you deserve what it is you want. That is the first step that cannot be skipped and to be honest, if you can get to a place where you believe with all of your heart that you deserve the things you want, the experiences your soul craves and your heart beats for, then life is yours. Period. And don't you dare tell yourself that you don't deserve any of it, because if your soul and your heart wish for it to be so, than you do deserve it. For what your heart and your soul tell you are guiding the way to joy, love, and happiness and you always deserve those. Each and every one of us.
Once you believe that you deserve what it is you desire, you must then work to believe that you can obtain it. That is step number two. When working through this, it will benefit you to remember that you need not know the means in order to believe in the ends. You do not need to know how you will get somewhere to get there, all you need to do is trust that there exists a path from where you are to where you wish to be. See that path as a line between two points, shaped however your mind wishes. Allow the universe to decide the method of the line between the point of where you are, and where you are headed. Imagine what you want. Decide the end point. You determine the destination. The pathway to this vision of yours, is a long and winding highway in a dark, quiet desert. All you can see is the 8 feet ahead of your car that the headlights illuminate. Yet you know you are on a road, and you know you are well on your way to your destination. And although you can only see 8 feet of road at a time, you know that as you keep moving forward, another 8 feet will appear, and another, and another. This is how life works. You pick a destination, a vision, a goal, an aspiration, a want, a desire, an adventure. You jump on the highway and drive. That is your part to play. You've got to get in the car and go, with your destination buzzing brightly in your mind. But once you are on that highway, it is not your job to see every inch of road that will lead you to your destination. That's the job of the GPS. Or, the universe. So allow the GPS (universe) to give you the direction you need, to guide you on the path ahead. Allow the headlights to light up what it is you need to see, and focus on driving your car the best you can on the road you are brought to. Knowing fully that the GPS will get you to your destination and the road will always unfold before you as you courageously drive onward.
Back to what I was saying before, about planning something so far in advance that you've already set it in motion and began manifesting it before you chicken out. Or in other words, before your nerves, your ego, the devil on your shoulder, convinces you that it cannot be done and your attitude implodes. This is a surefire way to confirm that your soul wants this, more specifically, that it's meant to happen. If you know deep down, that something needs to happen, and you feel it in your bones, you will do all you can to put it into motion before you might lose faith in your intuition, in your dream, in your heart's desire. That is courage. Planning a trip across the world, that feels so exciting and meant to be, before you start having panic attacks about leaving the continent for the first time, that's courage. Courage isn't living life without fear. That's not real. Courage is surfing the rough waves of life, the ones that bring both fear and a surge of exhilaration, knowing the thrill is worth the discomfort. Courage is following your soul's dreams, your heart's wishes, despite the fact that you may run into extreme worry and anxiety along the way. That's where courage and faith go hand in hand. Courage flows like a gentle surge of electricity when you have faith. Because although you may worry or fear certain things, you have faith in something higher. You have faith that there is a purpose for everything, and everything will serve a greater purpose. Then, courage seems more accessible. No matter what comes your way, you have the strength to believe. Even if you know it will be hard, scary, painful, uncomfortable. Courage is dreaming it up. Faith is trusting in that dream's meaning to your soul. Belief is knowing it will be. Courage is deciding you deserve what you desire, having faith that you can do it, and creating it. Despite the ego-based emotions you will experience along the way.
So my point here is this: Manifesting is courageous. Manifesting is hard. Manifesting is worth it. Manifesting your dreams is the most miraculous experience you can endure. Manifesting what lies within you, is natural. It is something we are made to do, energetically and spiritually. Our thoughts, emotions, beliefs, they all work together to create the reality we are surrounded by. What you operate from, you send out, you pull in, you become. You are one giant cellphone tower of energy, sending out signals to the universe with each and every word your mind produces, each feeling and emotion your attitude projects and your body experiences. You are constantly creating the life you experience, and you don't even realize it. That is how natural it is. So imagine, what life would be like, if you took it into your own hands? If you believed you have the courage that already lies within you, just waiting to be invoked? What would you do with that super power? That is what it is, a super power. Waiting to be brought forth, waiting to be put to use to save your life. Put on your cape, pull up your tights, set your destination in sight, and fly. Trust the universe to respond, trust yourself to believe, but most importantly, allow yourself to feel the satisfaction, the joy, the heart exploding happiness of the dream you are flying towards. Because it is already here, it is already a part of you. The minute you decide you want it and you can fly towards it, it is already yours. All you have to do is receive it.
The law of attraction is on your side, my friends. Dream big, believe even bigger.
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