To Survive or to Thrive?

I've come to a very important conclusion lately. Maybe it was meant to be this way all along, maybe I was meant to put this delicate puzzle together sooner or later, and my consciousness just happened to choose now. Or perhaps it was destined to find its way out of the depths of my mind at this very sacred time. Whatever the cause, whichever the method of timing, I can absolutely say I am incredibly thankful I figured this out now and not a minute later.

It all started with a philosophy paper. Being the anxious student I am, I planned to come up with my topic for the paper far enough in advance so that I'd have ample time to write the paper itself. So, months ago, before this sacred time of the most important epiphany of my life, I chose the topic of the Self. Are we an Atomistic Self or a Relational Self? Do we discover our truest, deepest Selves through introspection or extrospection? Is our Self discovered only within, or through our relationships with others? Little did I know, this topic would turn out to be a HUGE turning point in my life, bringing to my attention some aspects of me and my beliefs that very well might change life for me in the most miraculous of ways.

I won't get too much into my philosophical argument but I will tell you this.. Philosophy is known for teaching you the extreme views of beliefs of the universe. Religion, Ethics, Metaphysics, and Knowledge are the four main topics that most philosophies explore. The brilliant thinkers and ponderers that philosophize their way through life in order to pass down their beliefs, tend to pick a radical side of the issue and use reason to prove why their belief makes the most sense. But what REALLY makes the most sense, is finding a middle point between these extremes and taking parts from both sides of the spectrum that hold up to create one powerful, meaningful, spine tingling theory. That is what it's all about, I've learned. Studying philosophy may mean reading and understanding these radical theories, but practicing philosophy (which means the love of wisdom, by the way) actually means using these extreme ideas to form your own beliefs. Your beliefs and "aha moments" come from moving yourself closer to the center of these philosophies of life. Essentially, to philosophize or ponder is to inspire your own inner revolution. The real radical part is that sometimes, that movement changes your life.

I started creating my theory based on the topic mentioned above. I noticed that I was really adamant that all you need to discover and maintain your true self, is your self! How much simpler could it get? To be honest, that was just me being the person I have believed myself to be, detrimentally independent. Stubbornly alone. Angrily secluded. It wasn't until I presented my thesis to my Professor (who I highly admire for his natural wisdom and love for pondering) that I realized just how radical my beliefs were. About myself, about the Self, about people in general. Clearly, I still had some exploring and discovering to do. After he explained to me, so pure and simple, that we need both our Self and others to discover what lies deep within, I started to see the denial slipping away. It was time for me to shift my belief to the center, to give up my hard-headed, arrogant perception that I only needed myself to discover my Self, to better my Self, to BE my absolute Self. It's amazing, I mean truly extraordinary, how fast my perspective shifted and my mind opened up when I became comfortable with the fact that it would benefit me more in life if I didn't put my ego before my expansion. As a mind and as a soul. Philosophy has humbled me that way. After all, the first lesson of philosophy, stated by my favorite philosopher Socrates, is to know that you know nothing. Only then will you truly be able to learn something.

So after speaking with my professor, I realized that I was angrily defending solitude. I know from experience how necessary it is sometimes to pull yourself away from the rest of the world. After all, to heal a wound, we cover it from exposure. I have been operating under the notion that I needed to be on my own in order to completely heal. Only I could heal my wounds, only I could reassemble the shattered person that I was. That's true, but only to a certain degree. We are humans who are here on this planet to learn about ourselves, heal ourselves, and grow as we continue forward on our eternal journey. Part of that learning and healing can only be done within you, by you. You are the sole person who decides whether you heal, learn, or grow at all. You are the only one who has power over what state your soul is in and in what condition your heart lives. No one can break you, no one can fix you, except for you. However, an enormous amount of learning here in this great life is also done through our relationships and deep connections with others. How else would we learn about the parts of ourselves that we spend so much energy hiding and denying? Whether we are pained or loved by others, it is our relationships with those very others that can teach us about how we give and receive love. Do we allow ourselves to give and receive love, or do we deny ourselves those very pleasures and purposes of live? The only way you can know is if you connect with someone who is learning the same idea, which we all are, constantly. Also, we are all mirrors for each other. We are attracted to those who can help draw something out of us by just being themselves. To help bring something within ourselves to the surface and to our attention. Without relationships with others, our Self would be nothing more than what we can do on our own and as we can see from the way we humans function and live, it is more than necessary to have help, to have more than just our Self. You won't get very far on your own in this world, take my word for it.

In the end, I have found that there is equal and great power in pure discovery of Self and in our relationships with others. Therefore, the topic of my paper and the theme for my life that I have chosen, is the Mutual Self. The Self that can learn from both connection to Self and connection to others, seclusion and infusion. The Self that can fit both of those halves together in one divine piece that is our existence. Forming together imperfectly but extraordinarily, in order to teach us to the fullest extent, who we are and why we are here. We can survive with just our Self, but do we want to survive, or do we want to thrive? That is the question of a life time!